I’m convinced Gary Bencivenga is not just the world’s most respected copywriter… legendary in the business for his amazing control beating copy and ability to walk away from split-run tests victorious and unscathed… but… he’s a full blown ladies man too!

Why would I make such an accusation?

Especially, when he always makes a point to talk about how much he respects women and how the first ad agency he copy-chiefed started hiring women before everyone else in the 70’s?

It’s simple really…

Bencivenga THINKS Like a World Class Seducer!

Maybe it’s because he spent 37 some odd years painstakingly learning his direct repsonse craft… honing his skills against the world’s toughest copywriting competition… and he finally learned how to “seduce” his prospects into taking action and buying products from his promos.

But I think the inside story is a lot more “sinister” (it couldn’t be THAT simple right?)

Here’s why: because I’m a copywriter, I’ve had the pleasure (yes, that’s the word) of hanging out with some of the best seducers in the world who also own businesses teaching other guys how to get better meeting and dating women.

(Yes, it’s a tough job, but SOMEBODY has to do it!)

They sell info products over the internet, hold live seminars, and even take their students “in field” to night clubs, bars and other public venues to test their newly learned skills meeting women… get expert feedback from their coaches… and improve their “game”.

That game of course is learning how to become a more naturally persuasive and attractive man… and pursuing a more intimate relationship with one or many women they meet—as quickly as possible.

But What’s This Got Ta Do With Bencivenga?

… Or Copywriting For That Matter?

This is where the evidence starts piling up…

You see, for the last couple years (since his retirement) Bencivenga has so generously shared with us his innermost secrets to achieving higher response rates—even as our prospects and audiences become more jaded, more skeptical, and more accustomed to seeing our direct marketing efforts.

One of the most important principles the great Gary teaches… the one he claims is the most lethal for increasing your response… is to always marry your benefits with proof elements to increase the success of your persuasion attempts.

Why?

Because our prospects have seen it all! They’ve been screamed at “Lose weight FAST!”, “Get Rich Fast!”… “Make $1,000’s each week from home!”… and they’re getting better at recognizing and dodging these benefit driven promotional bullets before they land.

Ads that lead with big benefits (at least in more “mature” markets that are familiar with direct marketing) are quickly recognized as advertisements and hardly ever paid attention to.

That’s why you see so many of the world’s biggest direct marketing companies using different, more “sneaky” formats for their mailings. Formats like magalogs that promise the reader important information within the actual promotion — so they’re more likely to read.

Bencivenga calls this the secret of the Monkey’s fist — that the first sale you need to make in any promotion is selling your prospect on reading your promotion…

But he’s not fooling ME!

Cause I know real pickup artists understand that the secret to a woman’s heart… and persuading her to start an intimate relationship with you (even that same night!)… is doing the same thing…

And you might have guessed that getting all the women in your life you can handle is NOT accomplished with “big benefit” marketing and persuasion!

How To Get Slapped Silly The Next Time You Meet a Woman

As proof try leading with a typical “sales pitch” the next time you meet a woman you’d like to get to know better…

“Hello! Here’s My Amazing Story I Learned From a One-Legged Woman That Will Give You Earth Quaking Passion All Night, Every Night For At Least One Night – 100% Guaranteed!”

“Would you like to see some testimonials?”

Then duck and cover.

Obviously this isn’t going to work – and you shouldn’t expect it to!

The secret, the crafty Bencivenga tells us, is to marry our benefits with proof –right from the start—so we end up persuading a person from both “angles”.

These two angles are:

• The emotional, excited part of their brains – accomplished by the benefits… and…
• The logical, protective part of their brains – which only wants the proof…

The Persuasion Secret Of The Nun and The Anime Girl

Imagine a catholic nun in your head. She is wearing her black head-piece… she’s got those strict “teacher glasses” and she’s one tough cookie.

She’s a strict, “stick in the mud” nun with a scowl on her face determined to keep you from having any fun (my apologies to any offended nuns reading this message).

Now imagine an “Anime girl”. For those of you who didn’t grow up in the last few decades, this is a reference to the way Japanese cartoon artists draw women in their animation films (no matter the age of the women — it’s their “ideal” woman)…

She’s got big wide glassy eyes full of wonder and innocence… she’s young, careless and worry-free… and cute as a button just looking to enjoy each day to the fullest and without fear. (To help you out, take a look at the pictures)

I had one master ladies man explain the secret to women like this to me:

Imagine whenever you’re trying to pursue a new adventure with a woman or persuade her to “do something fun” you are dealing with two different people—and how you speak to these two different people is going to determine your success or failure.

You’re dealing with one person—the excited “anime” girl—who is a caricature of the young, innocent female “ideal”: Trusting, always excited to try new things, completely uninhibited, and ready to just have fun!

This is the emotional side of a woman…

And the other person you’re dealing with is her ever watchful Nun—who is very protective of the little Anime girl, always looking for trouble or signs of danger, and never wanting the little anime girl to get in over her head.

This is the logical side of a woman…

When you appeal to the woman’s emotional side by keeping your interactions fun, lively and always care-free –you’re talking to the Anime girl.

And whenever you talk logically to a woman… get her to take responsibility for something… or even make decisions—you’re talking to the Nun.

How To Not Get Slapped Silly Talking To a Woman

Imagine this: You’re a young man and you’re shopping at Borders, the book store. After you check out and begin to leave you notice the other cashier (the one who didn’t ring you up) is really cute.

You’d definitely like to talk to her… and persuade her to go on a date with you. At first, you consider the big benefit approach we covered above… But you’ve been reading Bencivenga lately—and you don’t like getting slapped.

So you decide to listen to this world-class ladies man and go with a different approach:

When the cute store cashier tells you to “have a nice day” as you begin to leave, you shout back in fake anger: “Don’t you tell me what to do—I hardly even know you!” in an obviously playful way designed to have fun with her and tease her a bit… a couple of unique things happen:

• She smiles because you’ve appealed to her emotions!
• You’re different but you seem nice and most importantly FUN because you’re stimulating her emotional side…
• You’re not being overtly sexual or creepy – just looking to make her smile…
• And she knows you’re just having fun with her…

So her emotional side – the anime girl—is enjoying the interaction and you can probably flirt a little more… then (and this is important)… you start to get a little more serious because now her inner nun is wondering “who is this guy?”… “is he really for real?”… “he seems different, I hope he’s not some creep – or worse yet a stalker!”…

So out you go with your “proof” elements that your “big benefit” (being fun, interesting and making her feel good) can be believed:

• You give her your name…
• You tell her where you’re from, a little bit about who you are, etc…
• You come across as a generally normal, but fun and interesting guy!
• And if you’re really slick: you don’t let on that you chat girls like this up all the time and have interactions with women so easily — you admit a damaging flaw to make yourself seem more believable and trustworthy–maybe tell her “I was so nervous when we started talking” and maybe even show a little embarressment to show her you’re not just some slick “player” who is only interested in her physically!

… And finally after a little small talk and chit-chat you agree to meet up for drinks in the coming week… exchange telephone numbers to talk later and confirm… then walk away.

(You WERE leaving the store anyways right?)

What Happened And How Can It Make You A Better Persuader in Print?

Several things:

• One you led with a big benefit (I’m fun and I can make you have more good emotions with me than without me) and…
• You married it with a proof element (I’m fun, but I’m also serious about liking you—enough that I think we should meet up for drinks later –and don’t worry I’m NOT a weird creep or some stalker type!)

By meeting her this way you’ve effectively pleased both parts of her “split” personality—the cute little, trusting Anime girl who just wants to have fun AND the watchful, logical Nun who wants to make sure Anime Girl never gets into trouble.

The lesson?

As Bencivenga and his pickup artist cohorts (or maybe it’s just a coincidence afterall) teach us…

To get anywhere with persuasion (no matter WHAT you’re trying to accomplish) you need to marry your big benefit promises with some powerful proof elements so that you simultaneously persuade and move to action BOTH sides of a person’s personality.

And if you’re really slick you can add an extra layer of credibility by admitting you or your product is NOT perfect and that you share the exact same insecurities and infallibility as your prospects and customers.

Doing it this way ensures you almost always get a much, MUCH, higher response.

Later,

Caleb Osborne.

So I finally got my website setup and running on wordpress now.

This is going to be fun, I’ll be posting some good content up here in the weeks to come.

talk soon!

Caleb